A  TYPICAL DAY IN RETIREMENT

      

I get up at 5:00 am, have a quick breakfast and join the early morning Talk Club at the local diner.  There are about 8 of us.  Rain or shine we talk about every little thing happening around town. I then go home, shower and change for the next activity.

My wife goes directly to work poor thing.

I put on my 'Ask me about retirement T-shirt, my mid-calf shorts, my socks and sneakers and go for my early morning bike ride.

Before you know it it's time for lunch.  I go to the local pizza hut to partake in a few slices of the many different varieties shown beneath the counter. I usually select the thin crust with a few pepperonies!  After a filling lunch, I go to the flea market to buy a Rolex watch for $2.00.

I’m usually back home by 3 PM to get ready for dinner.  People start lining up for the early bird about 4 PM, but we get there by 4:45 because I have to wait for my wife to finish work and we are late eaters.  The dinners are very popular because of the large portions they serve.  You can take home enough food for the next day's lunch and dinner, including extra bread, crackers, sweet-and-low packets and mints.

At 6:30 PM we're home ready to watch the 7 o'clock news.  By 8:30 I’m fast asleep.  Then I make 2 or 3 trips to the bathroom during the night and it's time to get up and start a new day all over again.

Gardening, Golf, and eating related activities will eat up most of your retirement time.  I enjoy reading the paper in the early morning as the sun rises. I also enjoy going to the park on my bicycle and watching all the other retires walking aimlessly around a lake wishing to lose weight.

Many of these retires look unhappy and are quite rude. They keep you wondering if I did the right thing but when I’m home in the morning and the sun is burning and a golf game is only an hour away I realize I did the right thing. Some days I go for an Egg McMuffin or a Taylor ham and egg and cheese. Other days I do nothing but sleep.